If You Listen
by ToDivideByZero
Summary: [Anime] [Yukito] Cursed to constant reincarnation, Kanna's battered soul is given time to rest when her host dies. During this time, her soul allows her to take over a human's body and, if only for a brief moment, she is able to cry in both worlds.
1. Part I: An Urgency

**If You Listen  
ToDivideByZero**

Disclaimer: I do not own Air.

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**Warning: **This story is based on Yukito's journey, therefore one must assume that he is still alive after Misuzu's death. If you cannot accept that, please do not read this. I find it hard to make a realistic story--well, as far as realism would allow in a story about angels--when both the main characters are _dead_.

* * *

The fluorescent lighted seared his eyes. 

Good.

He needed to wake up anyway.

He had hoped that sleep would not come, but that hope went unnoticed and he had fallen to the depths of his subconscious. He had not dreamed of course; dreams had not had the privilege to enlighten him for the past year.

He looked at the clock. He had only been sleeping for three hours. Hardly enough time to compensate for his lack of sleep for the past month. He yearned to continue sleeping, and his body was quite content with that option. His eyes felt as though they were full of salt. They stung to the point where the pain was numbing.

He had no justified reason for his tiredness other than the fact that he had been reading about angels for the past few days. Having gone to the library in desperation, Yukito found that nothing could fully answer the questions he asked. He did learn many interesting facts though, but none seemed to fit the legend and his objective.

It was as if all the records about the winged beasts of a thousand years ago vanished.

Yukito looked over to his headlamp. He had fallen fast asleep with it on, which he always did, usually for comfort or a source of light in case he was visited. Surprisingly, he found it to be disturbing now as he watched the continuous flicker of chemicals reacting with one another.

He began to tremble.

He reached over and turned it off, satisfied when he heard the reassuring sound and saw the light be overtaken by darkness once again. He could not pinpoint the reason for his uneasiness with the lamp so he dismissed it as simply a human reaction to light once awoken.

He opened the microwave and tossed in his beloved noodles. As the annoying sounds filtered through his ears, Yukito looked out the window by the bed.

The house he was staying in was conveniently located in one of the district's parklike communities, where the Sakura blossoms had already reached wondrous maturity and the surrounding grasses and generically named flowers offered a wealth of shade to small bugs alike on even the brightest and most rainy of spring days. Most of the houses were the traditional Japanese style that was pleasing to the eyes for its simplicity and elegance. Many chose to fore go the armchairs, sofas, and footstools that would commonly be seen in western households for polished wood and landscape paintings that soothed the mind and body, rather than intrigued them.

The purpose of such a community was to welcome those not of their ethnicity and culture, which seemed like the perfect way to take on such a demanding task. But Yukito knew the truth behind the wonderful setting. It was simply to cover up what he referred to as their 'weirdness' since he knew firsthand that everyone was just strange. But, as he had come to understand a while back, when many weirdos meet in one place, no one is able to look at another and think they are strange.

Yukito let his eyes wander over to the beach, which was a twenty minute walk away from his current residence. His eyesight would not allow him to see much farther, but that could have been blamed on the blinding sheen of reflected light cast off the ocean. Either way, he was able to make out little blobs running along and he imagined that he heard the gleeful cries, too. A sudden grief wracked his body and a slow tremor passed through, allowing him to reflect on the past year.

It had been the roughest year of his dull life, with many times where he wished that such a burden was not placed on him, but on the fellow beside him. There were times when he wished that a handshake would act as a bridge so that his burden could simply walk across and he'd be free to wander without such a weight on his shoulders. In hindsight, those times were his times of cowardice.

But now was not the time for reflection. It was time to eat.

Yukito mumbled his thanks for the meal while retrieving his most prized possession, his chopsticks. The meal was tasteless, as it had been for the past year. He was surprised the first time it occurred--even stricken with fear.

Your sense of taste suddenly doesn't disappear, Yukito thought.

But if he went on in life thinking that all situations in life were the spawn of logic, he would not get far. Logic could simply not explain the ways of the town, the angels, the scar on his back, or the death of the one he loved. Hell, logic couldn't even explain why he was unable to find that damned girl in the sky.

Unfortunately, Yukito understood that he wasn't forced to look for her. He knew that he could stop at any time and start a new life. He knew all of this yet...

He felt unfulfilled. He felt as though Misuzu had ripped a vital part of him and taken off with it to a place where he could not reach. He trusted her with his life, but that did not give her permission to keep a piece of him.

He would find that angel in the sky.

* * *

Outside the house, Yukito got into a taxi operated by something called the Jin's Japanese Jingle Cab Company. The alliteration gave his brain the equivalent of diarrhea so he gave himself a moment to read the whole title in one go. The cabbie, Hana Kazuma, according to her displayed license, greeted him with a toothy smile and asked where he was off to. 

"The beach," he responded as he dug into his only pocket in search of change.

Hana, who looked like she as sweet as sugar, but secretly held a fetish for sadistic activities (Yukito left everything to the imagination), turned around and raised a small eyebrow, as though she was not sure she had understood his simple instructions. _"_Cutie, the beach is down the road._"_

He nodded understandingly as his hand fisted deeper, struggling to take out the desired change. The truth was that Yukito didn't know why he had the sudden urge to go to the beach. He hoped that he would learn about what brought on this urge once it was satisfied.

Hana was not happy to oblige because she would be wasting precious gas just to take the man down the street, but also because she was not going to be paid a large fare. In fact, now that she thought about it, she wouldn't have the opportunity to hit on him.

After finding the coin, Yukito was overcome by the feeling that someone was waiting there for him. Previously hunched over in exhaustion, Yukito sat forward in the rear seat and said, _"_The beach. Quickly._"_

Hana hummed her acknowledgment while frowning at him in the rear view mirror. The taxi cab slowly backed out of the driveway. Hana braked at pedestrian crosswalk. She looked over her shoulder worriedly.

"Cutie, you alright?_"_

"Yes, someone is waiting for me. She'll leave if I don't hurry up," he said sharply, his eyes fixed on the glistening water so close to his reach.

"Sure, sure. Breaking the law for your expense is my middle name._"_ She winked at him and jammed her foot on the accelerator when it was safe. He saw the rush of exhilaration on Hana's face and he smiled, happy that she offered to help him under strange circumstances.

As the beach became clearer, Yukito's thoughts became elusive. He wondered what compelled him to say that a girl would leave if he didn't hurry up. He clearly did not know who this girl was, if she was real, or if she was waiting, but a sudden feeling gave him the assumption that there was indeed something there awaiting his return.

Initially he did not know where this girl was going to be. Then he had a vague feeling that she would be near water; a vast amount of water. In no time this feeling became a hunch. This hunch evolved into a compulsion to be at the beach in a matter of seconds, taking any means necessary to get there. He _had_ to get to the beach.

If a cop had stopped Hana, she would have turned to Yukito expectantly and asked why she was asked to rush. He would not have been able to explain his desperate, almost killer-like, urgency, for he did not understand the reasoning behind it himself.

He kept telling himself to calm down, flow with it, take it slowly, which was fairly easy to do since there was nothing much else he could do. He also told himself not to be afraid, but unshakable fear rippled through him in penetrating waves.

Hana stopped once again as what seemed to be thousands of school children, to Yukito, passed by. He gritted his teeth, giving each individual child their own complimentary glare. Hana noticed this and looked at him with her brows furrowed deeply.

She decided to eliminate the informalities. _"_Sir, are you sure everyth--_"_

"_Two _minutes," he said through gritted teeth.

"The beach is two minutes away. You could walk._"_

"No. She is leaving in two minutes," he whispered with a growing sense of urgency, _"_please, I'll give you all my change._"_

Hana began to frown. She nodded and turned her attention back to the road, where all the children already crossed. She sped up and found herself twisting and winding in order to find a place to stop so that she could not interrupt oncoming traffic. Looking frantically around, she sucked in her breath when she noticed a lone spot by a high school. She stopped there and pressed the button on the meter, halting his expenses.

"Is it that important?_"_

Yukito didn't respond. Instead, as Hana's frown deepened, he tossed all his change onto her lap. He nodded, thanked her, and scrambled out.

Hana tossed him one last skeptical look before shrugging and driving off.

Yukito's gaze fell onto the small park on the beach. Sunshine, filtered through the stitching of the arching trees, fell in sloppy yet delicate patterns across the burning asphalt. The pattern of light shimmered as the the sound of children's shouts and laughter wrung in his ears. Yukito refocused his attention from the scene to the beach itself, seeking the mark of something that would somehow tell him who this girl was.

Kids were moving in all directions, some walking down the sand while others ran onto the street with their soccer balls when the large gray sign clearly stated that ball playing was prohibited in the area. They were ignorant to their surroundings, knowing that not many cars and vans passed through here since cars were always parked around. Now, there were no moving vehicles.

Yukito scrutinized every car in search of a sign. None of the kids seemed to be looking for someone to talk to, and the vehicles held nothing accept for the stench of cigarettes and the occasional scent of sexual activity.

A change was put over the scene, changing his perception of it. The kids seemed to vanish, one by one, until one lone girl remained, lounging by a chair--the closest chair to the water.

Suddenly, she began to disappear. It was slow, deliberate, the way an invisible force erased her legs, her thighs, her stomach.

His peripheral became jet-black. He was now only aware of the girl directly in front of him. He didn't realize that he was running towards her until he heard the surprised squeal of a woman who he had seemingly bumped into. He did not apologize. He ran forward because time was running out and he was certain that she would hold the key to freeing the girl in the sky.

He felt stares on his frantic form. He moved towards the child whose body was still slowly disappearing before his eyes.

Has no one else noticed this? Yukito wondered.

The invisible force that was erasing the girl paused for a moment, as if contemplating going any further. This moment did not last long though; the eraser was, just as quickly, back to its work.

"Wait!_"_

He looked at the path in front of his mouth. He could see the faint ripples of the sound vibrations traveling, slowly, slowly, to their target. He stopped moving, marveling in watching it travel. He could hear the small echoes that the sound gave off. It reached the ears of the girl and, just as slowly as his plea had traveled, she turned around.

A small smile crawled onto her face and the erasing stopped.

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Thank You For Reading - Chapter One: An Urgency 

Next - Chapter Two: To Find

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	2. Part I: To Find

**If You Listen  
****ToDivideByZero**

Disclaimer: I do not own Air.

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**Warning:** See chapter one.

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Talk about unnerving. 

Yukito had waited with nervous excitement in the taxi. That feeling had quickly evolved into anxiety as he approached the lone figure in his field of vision. He had steeled himself in case the girl was something more powerful than his comprehension; he knew that she wasn't God, but he was ready for anything equally benign.

It reminded him of when he was a child. He used to sit under the canopy of the mysterious night sky, drawn to the Moon that seem to provide light to the surrounding darkness. He would not believe that it was actually the Sun that provided such light to the Moon lest he forget the importance of the imagination and not leaving everything to fact.

He used to sit there in contemplation of the unknown, the means of understanding what he did know, and asking the sky why he was not able to figure out the logic behind life. Back then, when he was too young to understand the ways of the world, he found his musings to be fanciful. As he grew older and became more world-weary, he slowly began to realize that those fanciful musings were imaginative absurdities.

But then, as he rode in the taxi, the rush of life and its lack of plausible explanation came to him. He returned to his childhood, where everything could be explained by what he could not understand--or rather, what he could feel. He felt that sense of urgency and it carried him to the beach where logic was abandoned and fantasy took over.

The sudden change in setting had catapulted his excitement to new heights. He yelled for the girl to wait. He needed answers.

She turned around and he stopped immediately. It was her face.

She looked exhausted. She was pale, and her deep blue eyes were shadowed with rings of weariness. The lines in her forehead were carved deep by scowl, as if she was silently reprimanding Yukito for keeping her waiting. She pinched the bridge of her nose like she was suppressing a headache and stared bleakly at him, her hair swaying wildly around her face, but Yukito felt no wind.

He blinked once to ensure that he was not imagining things...

As sudden and as quiet as a dream, everything returned to normal. She disappeared.

The rush of normalcy caused an overwhelming vertigo to wash over him. He dug his soles into the sand, attempting to keep himself steady. The vertigo did not cease; if anything, it became worse. He was unable to control his body movements and found himself on the ground seconds later. He felt the dampness seep through his cargo pants, but did nothing to remedy it.

It felt good, the feeling. It calmed his body and in turn his mind. Now he was able to think properly without the clouded vision of imagination hypnotizing him. He let his eyelids close and watched the flashing colours dance across his vision.

It was a mystery--the ability to see the back of his lids. He wished that closing his eyelids would bring about darkness, but the reality was that it brought a mere false comfort in knowing that he was shrouded in darkness. It didn't matter now because, darkness or not, he was comfortable sitting in the wet sand.

His eyes were still closed when he stretched, kinking out the knots in his back. He let out a heavy sigh and opened his eyes. The light of the sun invaded quickly, blinding him momentarily before he could regain his sight. Once his eyes adapted, he looked around.

The children continued to play happily, the parents continued to drink merrily, and the life guard on duty ran towards him quickly.

Wait.

The lifeguard was running towards him?

His eyes narrowed at the figure kneeling in front of him. Did he look that out of shape?

"Sir?_"_

Yukito mumbled his acknowledgment.

"Could you explain to me what you just saw?_" _Her voice was soft, but held that strong and interrogative tone that was attributed to police officers, not lifeguards. Her hand was on his forehead as she spoke while the other was holding him upright. Her breath was close to his--he could smell the minty gum she had chewed on. She was _too_ close.

"What I saw..._" _Yukito whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. How could he explain?

Well, Ms. Too Close For Comfort Lifeguard, if you must know, I saw a girl in a beach chair sitting on top of the water and she was being erased. I called out to her and she smiled at me - looking rather ghastly, mind you - then she disappeared and I found myself on my ass in the middle of the beach, Yukito thought sourly.

He couldn't explain it to her in a way she'd understand. He was unable to explain things to himself in a way _he'd_ understand, never mind others. Just the process of acknowledging that he saw something that no one seemed to notice was a bit hard on the brain. He felt the information scramble itself into tiny knots in his brain and suddenly they began to pull and two strong forces going in the opposite direction started a headache.

He could feel the frown on the lifeguard's face, if that was possible at the moment. He could feel the stares of people nearby, the mumbles of 'drunk' and 'homeless' echoing in his ears. He could hear the soft drumming of the children in the distance - as though they had chose to play farther away from him. Was the sight of him that repulsive?

That girl seemed to leave a strong affect on him. Just what was going on?

-

The lifeguard, sensing his confusion, assumed that he was not well. She helped him up, her eyes darting across the sandy beach to ensure that everyone was safe. Taking little steps, she brought him to a bench bordering the sand and the grass and gently placed his fragile body on the vandalized mahogany wood.

She was afraid to leave him alone there, with all the potential accidents that could occur around him. But she couldn't stay with him. She didn't have a full view of the area and that meant disaster if something were to happen out of her range of vision.

She took his wrist and checked his pulse. It was a steady heartbeat, a seemingly clear sign that he was in a good enough condition to take care of himself. She then took that back, looking at him and realizing that he looked traumatized. Her frown deepened at this and she put a warm hand on his forehead. He was a little hot, but that could be attributed to the weather and his lack of sun protection.

She immediately knelt down to hear him when he mumbled something. She asked him to repeat it, but his eyes were closed and his hands went limp. She panicked and checked his heartbeat once again, sighing in relief when it was alright although a little slower than normal.

"He fell asleep..." she mumbled, taking the chance to calm her nerves. The last thing she needed was a physically unstable person at the beach.

* * *

Jin's Japanese Jingle Cab Company's only female driver who worked in that district, Hana Kazuma, stepped outside of her sweaty taxicab and headed towards the ice cream stand across the street. 

"Remind me to never offer my help to a westerner._" _The words were grunted through clenched teeth as she waited for the light to change. "What's a light doing here on a quiet street anyway? Christ._"_

She was sure that anybody within range could feel the hate radiating in tidal waves off her body.

She crossed the street flaring with female indignation, rightfully pissed off with customers who had a loose definition of the word respect. After she had dropped off that strange boy, a man in his early hundreds (she assumed) asked to be brought to the grocery store.

If he wasn't so wrinkly and grumpy, she may have let his cordial lack of manners go.

But no, he decided that he wasn't finished. He just _had_ to go and tell her off by proclaiming that she was, and she quotes, an annoying pimple on the ass of society that should not have been there in the first place.

"_God!_" She couldn't even recall the event without cursing out on the street.

As though God enjoyed watching Hana's life crumble before her, he had to give the man a cruel sense of humour too.

The old grump had even gone so far as to throw the money onto the passenger side of her vehicle and tell her to keep the change.

"Keep what damned change? He didn't even give me enough in the first place!_"_ She yelled vehemently, nearly bumping into a woman and a child roller blading on the street.

The near accident caused her to realize her immaturity towards the elderly man.

"Sorry..._" _It came out strained, as if she was afraid that apologizing would take some of her anger away. Indeed it did, for she felt a little better when she ordered her ice cream.

She walked down the boardwalk, silently observing everyone as she ate her vanilla cone. The sun was beginning to set and it left the ocean's water to act as a wonderful backdrop to the people packing away their belongings. This was truly Japan; a beautiful place to live and grow.

Her eyes scanned over the horizon until it caught onto a bench a little farther up. A woman in red and white – a lifeguard it seemed – was looking around worriedly. There was a young man on the bench.

Was he sleeping? Hana wondered.

The lifeguard stood up and cupped her hands around her lips, shouting out a question. Hana walked a little faster, since she had to strain to her the girl yell from such a distance.

"Does anybody know where this young man lives?_"_

Hana looked at the bench once again and frowned. It was that strange boy from earlier.

A sense of responsibility washed over her and she rushed forward.

"Yes, I'll take him home._"_

The lifeguard looked at her strangely. _"_And you are?_"_

_Why would you ask if you're going to be so rude about it?_ "I'm the taxicab driver who brought him here._"_ Hana pointed to her car across the street.

She nodded understandingly and thanked Hana before walking off. This boy looked like he had just been through Hell.

All the more reason to get him home sooner.

* * *

_Where?_

A sound. Loud. Very loud.

_It hurts._

Where? Why can't he see?

_Anyone?_

His ears are bleeding. When did it suddenly become so hot?

_My eyes..._

They're blinded. When did it suddenly become so bright? It hurts even more.

_Szhhh._

That sound. Where is it coming from? Is it an earthquake?

_Stop, it hurts. _

What hurts?

_Ten._

Ten until what? He's running now. Where? He doesn't know, but he's running.

_Nine._

His legs hurt. He knows he can run harder, faster. He remembers chasing friends around.

_Friends? What are friends?_

Why did he ask that? Friends, they are wh--

_I don't remember. __I don't remember what friends are._

Is it amnesia? What's going on?

_Eight._

He can't see. He can't hear. Where was he running to again?

_Why can't I remember?_

He wants an explanation and a way out.

_Seven._

He shouts, but he can't hear the words. Is there even any sound?

_Four._

What happened to the seconds in between? Did it take him that long to form words?

_Have I forgotten how to speak?_

Were his legs even moving anymore?

_Three._

It is close. What? He doesn't know, but he feels it. He feels the breeze, the cool air, life. He feels _her._

_I'm coming._

_

* * *

_

"I know you are."

That is all she can say now, but she knows it is enough.

_

* * *

_Yukito wiped the sweat from across his brow. 

"What the hell was that?_"_ He whispered to himself. As the rush of reality set in, he shivered. The lamp was on and the window was open which would explain his reaction. Taking in deep breaths, he looked at himself in the mirror.

Surprisingly, he was still in his usual clothing. Someone had brought him home, but had decided that they wouldn't change him.

"I'm so pathetic."

He slowly got up and sauntered over to the desk, overwhelmed with everything that was going on. He hadn't had a dream in quite a while so it was strange to suddenly be surrounded by nothing but his imagination.

The dream in and of itself was scary. Had it not occurred, his view of life would only be slightly warped. But now, as he sat there, he had to reconsider everything he was told as a child.

He had to lay down all the facts before he could form any sort of plan. If his assumptions were correct, it meant that the dream, the girl, and his goal were related.

This was not simple; finding an angel in the sky and saving her without dying in the process would not be easy. But the dream had scared the crap out of him and, if anything, he didn't want to go through it again.

Although, if it meant finding out who that girl at the beach was, he'd gladly go through it once more.

Several minutes passed before he crawled back into bed. He reached for the light, but his hand stopped.

The lamp was a source of light in case someone visited. Turning it off meant that he did not expect to be visited, which was not the case. But for now, to conserve energy, it'd have to do.

He reached for the switch and faltered again when he heard quiet footsteps in the hall. They reached the door.

"You know, you'd find her easily if you believe that she exists._"_

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Thank You For Reading – Chapter Two: To Find 

Next – Chapter Three: An Angel

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